Please advice me 🙇

Kindly post for me and conceal my I.D, am a married woman who loves her husband but since I married him I don't know how I do this but I've dated several men which he ends up finding out though his not a saint but he keeps forgiving me and doing all he can to save the marriage but I keep going back to such act at the slighted opportunity.

Pls I need advise on how I can be a faithful wife to him , he loves me but I keep doing the wrong things that ends up bringing the family shame and disgrace from other men and their wives .

This has been  happening for two decades plus of this marriage but it looks as if I don't feel shame or remorse as I keep repeating the same thing always and I feel he is feeling terrible because if he leaves or divorces  me some people who doesn't know the full story will see him as a bad man when he has always been a good man .

I don't know how to correct this mess I've caused my self and family and he feels ridiculed by my action so far I feel I keep bringing him down financially and I doubt those men I do this with would like to have me as a wife even though they say I would like to marry you but I believe they won't want to marry a woman that cheats on them .

In defense I now insult my husband at the slightest opportunity or provocation, this isn't me I need prayers and God's intervention.

Pls advise me ...

No insults just a good and direct advise to this lady .